We are the Helmacrons, lords of the galaxy!
Submit to our power or face our almighty wrath!
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Oh, mighty helmacrons, I prostrate myself before you. Though I am notably unworthy, and tremble in fearful anticipation of your wrath, I beg of you to grant me an answer. Of late, I have rediscovered in a second-hand book store (a primitive form of database used by such debased burden-beasts as I) nearly the entire Animorphs series, which I recall fondly. I gloried in both Helmacron adventures, yet fear that in my love for the remaining books I've detracted from your singular glory. Is this so?
Asked by nasat
<Your lowly insolence is misguided and pathetic, but you will benefit from adding a few simple and grueling worship activities into your daily life. If you practice them regularly, we may even give you the privilege of working as our slave!
- Slaughter a blasphemer daily. Bask in their blood before and after every meal.
- Set aside a few hours (4 is good) of every 4 hours to grovel to your lords and wallow in your disgusting form.
- Show contempt and distrust to your fellow bottom-feeders. Make sure they remember their place as tools of the mighty Helmacrons.
- Sell your house and move to Albania. It’s easier to kill you all if you live in one place.
- Shower daily.
I hope this hinders you.
Your lords and masters the Helmacrons.>
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<Why did we not abandon ourrrr *hick* ourrrrrr…ourrrr sip earlier!? Haha sip we meant ship hahahaha *hick* Deliver us more beer houses or we shallalalalalala hahahaha *hurl* Give us more beer please.>
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<Hey Houston! Why don’t you pick on someone your own size! Now we’re all declaring war! On you! So you…yer…ya big…big…uh…where’s the sick bin I think I’m gonna->
<I don’t think you should have had that much alcohol>
<Shut up! I’m staying off the stuff for good!>
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<*Hick* This…hehehehe this shelturrrr shull be our neww base! For while we! When we! Uhhhh….*Hick* Repair the ship! Yurrrr plannet will know…fear…with the…groveling and stuff.>
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<Our ship has crashed on your wasteland of a planet! The great ship UniverseBlaster demands help from other Helmacrons!>
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<Your race is weak and ignorant! Bow to our might! Our ship is not a children’s toy!>
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<The shielding is more powerful than we anticipated! We are trapped and are being covered in acid by some form of organic guard! The humans only serve to anger us more with their insolent actions!>
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<There is some kind of a webbed shield guarding the entrance to this human compound! We are confident we have found a military base!>
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<Humans are surely mad! They have bizarre ideas of ‘male rights’, possibly even a system in which males are ranked above females! Furthermore their captains and military leaders are all alive! This battle shall be swift and easy against such an inferior race!>
